I Get to Do This

“Start writing again.” I am finally giving in to satisfying a hunger. Sometimes it’s subtle. Often, daily distraction buries it. Lately, it screams at me. Yet for the last several months, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of helplessness that kept my fingers frozen. As the heaviness of the news and shakiness of its unpredictability can feel debilitating, I struggled with a recurring thought. How can I think that in a world where deep rooted hate still wildly exists, where violence steals lives daily, where we worry about our children and break for the families who are broken, that my words will (or should) matter. Two things happened, completely separate and beautifully connected.

Last year, I was inspired to write a post titled, “I Get to be Here.” One of my fabulous Boot Camp trainers challenged us toward the end of an exhausting workout to shift our mindset from having to be here to getting to be here and it made an impact on me far beyond the gym.  Around the same time, our SEL and Equity Director offered us the following message. To combat the hate and injustice we see and to make positive change in our society, the most important foundation we can provide is making sure every human being in our space knows they belong. I not only included this in the post above but relied on it when “getting to be here” felt out of reach. As a result, I gave my whole heart to teaching middle schoolers and was unafraid to write.

I wish I had the wisdom to tap into the inspiration I had written so passionately about when I entered my funk of not writing. It took the help of two amazing people presenting their own wisdom in a way that reached my core once again. About a month ago, the same trainer struck me with a slightly different combination of words during another moment in which she felt we needed a motivator. This time she said, “Remember, we get to do this.” I smiled to myself, familiar with the knowledge that Juliana’s words may travel farther than she had anticipated.  They yelled action. 

The following week, just as I was letting I get to do this own more space in my soul, I attended professional development that brought together over two hundred middle school educators. The same district leader that had left us with a powerful statement before, did it again. He reminded us that the future of our world is urgently depending on the social and emotional skills our students learn today. I remember sitting there coming back to the realization that our students will be leading us, one day soon voting for people in power perhaps each other or themselves. I remember thinking how much our work matters, how much the work of our colleagues matters near and far, and I was convinced. It was time to start sharing again. 

Fueled by the partnership of my own commitment to act and the need for action, I grabbed a dose of courage and chose to conquer the doubt that shadows the worthiness of my words. For almost a decade I have felt driven to amplify moments, especially those that have knocked my socks off. Although my words may not matter to everyone who reads them, and although most people never will, I believe wholeheartedly that a world in need of empathy craves stories of empathy. Stories to feel with our hearts, to learn from, to connect us as humans and our potential to make a difference. Stories that if inspire only one person will be enough.  

Every day I walk into classrooms I don’t want to leave because students are loved and are learning to love. I witness them working together as teammates with opportunities to lead their teachers because leadership is expected. I see colleagues putting their heads together, determined to learn from each other, dedicated to bringing the best they have to offer every day. I am surrounded by and lucky enough to participate in and even spark moments exploding with hope. I know how fortunate I am to be able to capture them. 

I will continue to write because I get to. 

I look forward to writing again soon and I wish you a healthy, safe, and wonderful start to 2024.  And if you are lucky enough like me, to be in a physical and mental place where “I get to do this” can serve as a boost, I hope you will share your imperfect journey.  You never know who you may impact. 

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It took one person to encourage me to write my first blog post and since then, I have decided to keep writing about anything I’m truly inspired by.  This led to writing a Lead Like a PIRATE series guidebook, Lead beyond Your Title: Creating Change in School From Any Role. My last crew of fourth graders will always remain the heart of every page.